what? Me worry?

It’s no secret: I’m a worrier. It’s genetic, I can’t help it. I come from a long line of women worriers. Both my chiropractor and my massage therapist have commented on the mess my neck and shoulders are in. I’m pretty sure it’s the worrying. I worry with my neck and shoulders. I can feel them bunch up.
I know worrying is not good for me. I try and relax my neck and shoulders, but I seem doomed to obsess on everything.
For instance: At 1 a.m. this morning, Batman, who was in his crate, barked and whined. This is his signal he needs to go out. Batman rarely needs out at night, so, I’m immediately on the alert. Why does he need out? Before he gets to the back door, he stops by the water bowl and slurps up all the water. This makes me more anxious. Outside he runs around and around the yard and rolls on his back. Is he playing or having some kind of attack? My first thought is the spray I used to try and scare the chipmunks really was toxic and he got into it. I immediately imagine Batman dying of poisoning. Then, he runs back up to me, licks my face and says he is ready to go back in.
At 3 a.m. he barks again. This really worries me. He has only done this one other time and that was when he had diarrhea. Once more he runs all over the yard, rolls on his back, etc. I bring him in and lay on the guest bed so he can lay beside me. He is panting and seems very wiggly. I begin to wonder if I should look up the address of the 24 hour emergency vet. I go online and look up the company that made the chipmunk deterrent. The website swears it is non toxic.
I wonder if Batman will eat, so I give him some food. Yep, his appetite is just fine. I wonder if he will play, so I get out his favorite tug toy and we play tug in the living room, which wakes the old dog Scooby up, who comes in to join the fun. Batman plays just fine. A logical, sane person would now conclude that there is nothing wrong with the dog. But, I’m a worrier. I lay on the couch with Batman on the floor so I can watch him. I turn a fan on. This makes him stop panting and he goes to sleep. However, it is now 4:45 and my alarm goes off at 5:30. I decide there is really no reason to go back to sleep.
I took a really long shower and when I got out, Batman is sitting there wagging his tail and grinning. I realize that I’m pretty sure I’ve been scammed.
When I tell Curt that I actually haven’t been in bed since about 3 and that I was up before that too, he tells me I have just taught my dog that if he whines and barks and gets agitated at night, I’ll play with him. Great, now something else to worry about.

The Chipmunks

So, Alvin, Theodore, Simon as well as a host of their women folk have moved into the house (well actually under it). I’ve always found chipmunks adorable, although, I am still not 100 percent sure if these are actually chipmunks or ground squirrels or if there is a difference.
Whatever they are, I think they are cute. They are also highly destructive. Last week I came home and discovered they had made a slide out of the planter my rose bush is in. They dug a huge hole and came out the bottom. It looked like it was probably fun if you were a chipmunk, but my rose bush was not appreciative. They are also living in the down spouts of the gutters, which fascinates my dog, Batman and causes him to want to destroy the downspouts to get to the critters. And, they are digging holes in the flower beds. Plus, I think they may have opened a condominium in the crawl space as I woke up on Saturday to discover Batman had managed to take up two of the floor register covers and was trying to stick his nose into opening.
In some online research I discovered they can be fairly destructive and they carry fleas. Curt wants to throw poison or gas down the holes. All I can think of is the cute little guy who likes to sit on top of my rose planter and twitch his nose at me. I can’t kill him.
There are plenty of products on the market that say they ‘encourage’ pests and rodents to move on without resorting to killing. I could also live trap them, but then I would have to find them new homes.
I made a trip to the local mega hardware store. There I found shelf upon shelf of traps, glues, poisons, etc. and a small assortment of non lethal contraptions. I bought one that I thought sounded good. It was designed for ground burrowing ‘pests’ and emitted a noise they would find ‘disturbing.’ Unfortunately, when I set it up last night, I found the noise disturbing. Somehow I thought it would be noise only the ground squirrels would hear. Instead, neighbors all around me can hear it. It is not possible to sit out on the porch in the evening enjoying a glass of wine with this blaring noise.
I also bought Critter Away. The smell is supposed to be disagreeable and if an animal tastes food sprayed with this stuff, it is supposed to taste bad. So, I sprayed it all around the holes the chipmunks had made, as well as around the downspouts and the perimeter of the house. When I went back inside, I discovered I should have made sure all the windows were closed. Whew, this stuff stinks. Batman asked to go to the backyard.
I kept looking outside to see if any chipmunks were packing their bags and exiting, but I never saw anything.
I thought about letting Batman into the crawlspace and letting him chase them a few days in a row to see if that convinces them to move. I could put Ginger, the cat, down there too. My luck, the ground squirrels would be ferocious and would scare my animals. That’s the kind of pets I have.
If anyone knows of a way to convince ground squirrels to move on that does not require killing them, let me know.